Family Guy Friday

I just saw that controversial episode of Family Guy, the one where Chris takes a girl with Down’s Syndrome out for dinner.

The song and dance number by Stewie made me laugh, as always. But let me also say that I DO NOT find the disease funny and I acknowledge that they are differently-abled and NOT disabled.

Here’s the lyrics to the “Down’s Syndrome Girl” song:

You've got to look your best tonight,
You tubby little parasite,
'Cause there's a lovely lady
And she's waiting for you.
And though her pretty face may seem,
A "special" person's wettest dream,
Before you get to see it,
There are things you must do:
We'll try a tie,
And boutonnière of yellow,
Or a rose that shows,
That you're a classy fellow
With the posh panache
Of Jefferson and Monticello -
Busting out a mile, with style!
I know you just can't wait to stare
At all that luscious orange hair,
But boy, before you touch a single curl,
You must impress that ultra-boomin',
All-consumin', poorly-groomin'
Down Syndrome girl!
On any normal day you reek,
As if you're on a farting streak.
Your finger's up your nose
And you are dripping with drool.
But if you want a lady's love,
You're better off by smelling of
A gentleman's cologne
Instead of sneakers and stool.
A squirt, a spurt
Of somethin' just for Ellen
And you'll see that she
Will find you so compellin'
And she does, because
The only smell that she'll be smellin'
Won't be comin' from your bum!
You wanna take that little whore
And spin her on the dancing floor
But boy, before you do a single twirl,
You must impress that effervescing,
Self-possessing, no BS-ing
Down Syndrome girl!
Her eyes are emerald portals
To a secret land of love
And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower.
Her kiss is so inviting
And her hugs are so delighting.
And what makes them really nice,
Is that they've got a little spice
Because they're tighter than a vise
And may go on for an hour...
(Dance Break)
My boy, between the two of us,
We'll get you on that shorty bus
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl.
Now go impress that super thrilling,
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-hoo-spilling,
Ultra swinging boner-bringing,
Gaily singing, ding-a-linging,
Stupefying, fortifying,
(As of Monday)
Shoe lace tying,
Stimulating, titillating,
Kitty cat impersonating,
Mega rocking, pillow-talking,
Just a little crooked walking,
Poorly pouting, poopy-sprouting,
For some reason, always shouting,
Fascinating, captivating,
Happiness and joy-creating
(Glass Break)
Down Syndrome girl!

And I added an Emmy moment that Stewie and Brian had back in 2007.

Family Guy. Funny stuff.